End of Week 1

Week 1 is over. Feeling better already and I can tell I am definately more aware of my food choices. Been logging and turning to prayer when tempted to eat when not needed. Breaking these habits is REALLY hard! I am still very motivated and can already tell where I have improved and where I am still weak. I have improved on being more aware of what I am eating and when I'm eating (hunger vs emotions) and turning more to God not even when it comes to food but in general. Sweets are still getting me though!
I read a chapter about working out this today and it really hit home. I would love to become someone who works out everyday but when it comes to actually doing it I lose motivation. Praying for energy and motivation this week to workout more and to get more active.

Bring on week 2!

Day 3 / Day 4 : Not so good.

Tonight I feel a bit defeated in this whole thing. I know the journey is just beginning but it's so hard already.
Last night I didn't want to go somewhere because of teenagers that were hanging around. I was so concerned with what they would think of me. I was so mad at myself because these kids that I don't even know should be the last thing I worry about. I struggle so much with the fear of being judged and last night it became very clear how great that fear is.

Today I started out healthy but by dinner time I just didn't want to put forth the effort to make healthy choices... I was looking for convience. I am frusterated with myself but know that this journey is about become who God wants me to be and yearning for Him more than anything. With His help I will come out of this journey successful and closer to Him!

Day 2: Rough

Today was full of challenges! Lots of emotions from just life in general brought the full extent of my relationship with food into light. I knew I depended on food as a crutch but I didn't realize how much. Today I was having a mini emotional meltdown and the first thing that popped into my mind was "I just want some peanut M & M's and a slushi". I was horrified that this was my first thought was about food when I was feeling upset! I was able to get through it without turning to food and was able to pray through it, it was a real eye opening experience for me. God is bigger than anything I am going through and he is in control of all of it. I am slowly learning to turn and trust in Him instead of in other things (such as a slushi).

Day 1

Today was a day of realizations. While driving to the park to go hiking, I realized that when I go on long car trips I have to have something to snack on, even if I am not hungry. Today I didn't! I was able to get through the car trip without stopping for a snack, I am trying really hard to eat when I am hungry and not just eat because it's something to do.

My hubby and I went to a state park today and hiked. We ended up going on the most rugged one which involved climbing on rocks and hiking up a creek. We ended up getting lost and going on several trails. We spent 2 hours lost in God's creation and it was so exhausting and fun! It felt so great to do something healthy and challenging (for a city girl like me the thought of running into animals/ bugs is a challenge in itself)!

At dinner I did give in and opt for an unhealthy choice of onion rings. I ended up paying for it in heartburn but as I started to feel guilty about making a poor choice I was reminded that this is a journey and the purpose of this is to break the cycle of fighting food. I was able to pray about it and let it go. Later that evening when we stopped at a gas station to buy water I was tempted to buy a soda but I knew that in the long run it was not something that my body needed and that it would not be worth the taste in the end. Overall it was a great day, full of small victories! I feel acomplished and praise God that I was able to get through the first day!

The Start of Something New

Several things have happened recently to get me to this point. My mom, before vacation, handed me a book I had been interested in titled "Made to Crave" by Lysa Terkeurst (thus the name of my blog), she has also inspired me by her own weight loss, and watching my niece be born. All these have made me think a lot about my own life. It's so easy to say "I want to be healthier" not always so easy to do. For years I have made goals for myself of jean sizes or goal weights only to fail at obtaining the goal because I didn't even try. Watching my niece come into the world changed my life. It made me think about the day when I to have a family. I want to be one of those mom's who is active and plays with their children, and this had me think, why wait until I have them to get healthy. Now is the time to start, to make my lifestyle changes to that it's easier to teach them healthy habits.

Made to Crave talks about how we are made for something more and how we need to turn to God instead of food for comfort. This is something I struggle with. Food is a friend of mine (or an enemy depending on the day). I don't view is as a way to fuel my body, it's a way to comfort my emotions. In the book it talks about accountability and how crucial it is to have. So I thought I would blog about this journey. What better way to keep track of my progress and what I am learning along this journey and to stay accountable? I feel like this will be a great way to keep myself in check, get advice and stay motivated while maybe even motivating others.

Today starts with getting rid of food that is not healthy. Tomorrow starts the tracking of food and exercise!